trusting........

what does TRUST means?

it means u don't think the other person will cheat on u.
it means u never thought of him looking for other girls.
it means he doensn't have any nasty or shall i say unkind secret to keep.
it means his eyes are locked on u (u know that)
it means he never had flirted with anyone...
he is satisfied that u are the One.

it so sad and frightening when trust is broken.
i could not think of a better way to excuse myself to not feel jealous
when i think of something he might do or feel towards the opposite sex.
there are lots of vampires out there.. waiting to lurk at
the blood of another so called victim.

in a way its someone's fault why someone would end up paranoid
or maybe its just the person himself/herself not controlling his/her
emotions. the reasons may be boundless.. regardless of what it may seem.

the reason about is not that u don't trust him/her or something...
its just of what happenned, well, or what could happen...
maybe its because when a couple had been together for quite a long
time...there's this so called familiarity... there's a saying that
goes... "Familiarity brings Contempt" well, i must agree. (i remember tinababes' blog bout this) i don't really recommend a long engagement, though im into one.

i must admit i do usually sometimes feel bored.. not that i don't
love him... but because things are done monotomously... u want to
see and have more... i don't know with other people... but this is just
how i feel.

maybe im also boring.

i have this one time conversation with a friend who has been going out
with her long time bf. we kinda talked how they spend monthsaries,
anniversaries, birthday...etc.. she told me that they, once in a while
go out of the town and spend time together which in my case... never happenned (just for the two of us alone together)

i maybe outpouring emotions and thoughts this past few days. but im happy at least i have the time somehow to think about things. but what i really need now (i think) is a time and place to unwind.. with Just ME, MYSELF AND I.

I don't want to be selfish... but everybody needs a little time away.. (sounds like a song) hope i could have that time..