Friday, June 25, 2004

excess baggage

I don't know, but i seem to to always live/dwell on the past.
I can't move from that chaos, dark side of my life.
It has been 3 years.. but the pain is still here.
It really hurts.

the stupidity and the overly sensitive me...just lingers..

I just found another thing, he really did lie.

I'm not sure if the whole intuition is real.
A part of it maybe.

If he lied.. why?
Does it mean that he needs to protect the relationship
so as not to break it? Because i'm so over reacting?

Maybe i'm just really over-reacting. Talk about insecurities.
I know, i do...
But because he only let me see the good side of him..

And after five (5) years.. then i saw.. he also too has
his dark side.
Well because he's also a human, but it really hurts
to be disappointed.. esp when u highly trust someone.

But on the other end.. i also have my fair share
of disappointments.. sad moments that he can also
point to me.

this is the extreme sadness couple experience in their
relationship. The sad part for me is i can't
forget it. I can't seem to move from it.
I can't seem to bring back the trust.

I don't want to exxagerate this..
I still am not sure if they relly liked each
other. All i know is that the girl flirted him

You know, my guy.. is really a gentleman..
He never made suplado on the girl.
Maybe he did liked her.. because at that time..
i really was a nagger... im was really annoying.
Whenever i ask him, he's so consistent w/ his answers..
or may be he's a PRO. (but i am his first gf)..
But does that give him the right to, oh well,
make friends (did the girl made the 1st move?)
with her or even be close to her?

Naiinis na din ako sa sarili ko, why can't i forget it?
Why can't be forgiving? may mga kasalanan din naman ako?
Selfish ba ako?
why can't i move from it, and live my life for the future?
Maybe i need to tell it to him again.....

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